#cuz I don’t wanna ‘pass’
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Everyday the allure of going on t just for a little bit so my voice gets lower gets stronger
#cuz like okay here’s the thing#I don’t wanna be a guy. the idea of being a man makes me VISCERALLY uncomfortable and dysphoric#HOWEVER#I have realized I definitely want more masculine features#and it’s like hm. hm. hmmmmm. just for like#a lil bit#a lil bit and then stop#cuz I don’t wanna ‘pass’#but I also don’t wanna immediately get clocked as ‘woman’#cuz I don’t like that either#however I cannot admit this to ANYONE#because this is not a mindset about ‘transitioning’ that very many ppl like or appreciate#so like ugh#kaz rambles
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#im 21 now#don’t read the tags it’s just me rambling about stuff<33#man…#can’t wait to be forced to be a silly girlie girl cuz im definitely a girl girl so girl#loves being trans<33#I’m so tired djdjjsksk#I wish that I’m a binary trans person or cis idk it sucks cuz I’m weirdly dysphoric#I’ll be ok teehee#DJDJJDi need to stop making things depressing#I have miku expo#and I’m going to go see my best friends#that’s all I need but it’s still rough on the actual day#im surprise I haven’t attempted anything yet djxkxjskksks#im ok I’ll be fine I just gotta be silly and chill teehee#I don’t wanna hear her name omg she’s so annoying sjsjjd’s#it’s not her fault#they just refuse to let her die djdsjkskksks#(she was me btw djsjsjsj I just can’t bring myself to keep saying that it’s pass me cuz im so disconnected to the dead girl#honestly I kinda miss her#I think she might have more of an idea and is probably happier I’ll ever be dhsjjs we’ll probably not by much with how my mother treats me#I wish I was in the closet again#aging#i hate my birthday#birthday#yay?
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🥹🥹🥹
bruhhh yk my dance coach that went to hybe?? well i already knew this but she has so many connections and the delulu in me is making me so 😭😭😭😭 literally dreamt about meeting jake a while ago and it was so realistic CUZ OF THE CONNECTIONS SHE HAS SJSNDJ
#i’m so 🥲🥲🥲🥲#like I KNOW it’s not possible#BUT STILL#i wanna meet jake so bad but also rlly rlly don’t at the same time#cuz ik if i did i’d pass out right then and there or d word of a heart attack or from lack of oxygen cuz i forgot how to bREATHE SNSNS#i wanna meet jake 🥹#JSNSJDN#em speaks
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#its always the fucking chemistry projects that ruin my life#not ready to go back to school ... getting home late & eating the same food everyday & having less free time & hanging out with the same few#people i honestly! don’t even like that much.. zzz i don’t wanna receive my test results either – esp not for math#and i KNOW it gets 100x worse in a college/uni/work environment i think i’m just being a bit of a crybaby but i can’t bring myself to#look forward to anything at all. pass my exams & graduate yay ^__^ -> immediately go back and study some more#then i’ll have to get a job and afhjdkf... maybe i’m thinking too far ahead but it all feels inevitable anyways so does it matter if i am?#i don’t know why i’m struggling so much compared to my peers who don’t see any of this as an issue at all#was i cursed to be sad since primary school#i can’t even talk to anyone about it because my dad [ though he has good intentions ] almost always ends up feeding me a variant of#think about your future Or thats just how student life is. meanwhile my mom will begin a competition of Who Has It Worse?!#my sister has her own stuff going on and my religious aunt will say something along the lines of [ have faith & go with the flow ]#i wish i had someone to confide in but i only ever really have myself i think. it sucks cuz no one seems to get it at all#i know objectively thats probably not true but. ahh i feel so disconnected from everyone#cw negative#cw vent#i didnt intend for this to become a whole thing but i got carried away#💭
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Every day I feel compelled to write some “not like the other tgirls” post and every day I remind myself that it’s the internalized transphobia and dysphoria voice talking
#I be like “I just wanna be a regular ass woman” and I remember that no I just want to be quirked up and cis#idk how other dolls manage to live away from these feelings cuz I fucking can’t why does every fucking tiny thing trigger a dysphoria spira#I literally pass and I’ve been out so long I should be over the insecurity#dysphoria#dysphoria tw#vent#Ironically enough even thinking about this too long hurts cuz then I’m thinking like “normal girls don’t think this much about being trans”
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Long story short, she had a fight with rebound and home girl wasn’t letting her leave so she stayed the night. But she no longer wants anything to do with her and I feel like that came with the undertone of “I don’t wanna see her again because our fights were easier.” That might just be me tho.
#she cried and I felt bad#but she did it to herself#I made it clear i won’t be tolerating that again#but that I love and care still#because I can’t just throw 3 1/2 years down the drain like she tried to#but I kept a firm tone and made it abundantly clear that she’s overstepping too many boundaries#and she’s lucky to be burning bridges with very forgiving people who love unconditionally#and this is getting ridiculous#but I’m sticking to the 3 week rule for myself#if she tries to get back with me#she has to wait and think ALONE if that’s really what she wants after next week passes#I don’t know what my answer will be#but it’s either no. definitely not rn#or yes and she’ll be working at my pace on my time#I have a list of hard boundaries that will not change until I say so#and I have high expectations#and I might still move out when I have the money for it#I’m proud of the way I handled everything#cuz I wanna go to her job and give her a big bear hug#but I know she’s coming to the realization that she really fucked around and found out this time#and it’s a rude awakening but 🤷🏽#you played yourself babe#today is gonna be interesting if I’m home when she gets home#but on the bright side I actually have an interview at that kpop store now#I’m really excitedddd#anyways#my ringer is on if she needs me#today is about me tho
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alright so here’s the whole doosey that is my complicated romance lore throughout the entirety of rdr2’s story line
main couple: Amalla x Arthur | these two are the big g couple, power couple, the two that are together the longest (without including any head cannons after rdr2) and the most meaningful relationship. they’ve been together for about a year prior to chapter 1. Amalla having been with the gang for a few years before they got together because Arthur was much aware of their age gap and even if Amalla was willing to risk it all he wanted to be as respectful and right as possible bless this man
now those two also are low key in a throuple/open relationship with Hosea because i love him so much oh my god one time i read a cuckolding fic between hosea x reader x arthur and it changed my life so this is a thing now so let us introduce;
on going: Hosea x Amalla x Arthur | Hosea takes care of Amalla when arthur is away/all the time or whenever Amalla is feeling like she needs a matured gentle hand of care and tlc TwT don’t get her wrong, Arthur is a perfect partner who’s just as caring and gentle when he means to be only with her but Hosea’s touch just this different if you know what i mean. Hosea joined the band wagon in sharing Amalla with Arthur about 9 months after Amalla and Arthur started seeing each other.
post chapter 6: Charles x Amalla | Charles quickly became one of Amalla’s closest friend since the beginning, he always cared for her and did end up having a crush on her but at the time she was with Arthur and Hosea so figured knew she was preoccupied to bother with him in a romantic setting. stuffing away his feelings and showing that care in other ways even if it was only friendship, he was happy to be around her either way. big ol skip to post chapter 6, he helps Amalla heal after so much loss and grief, eventually after over a year Amalla let herself move on, to love again and Charles was the lucky man to be able to help her do so, by her side all the time as always.
#here they are#the men i will simp for until the end of my days and die for#i love them your honour#fun fact: charles smith is probably the only reason why i’m still a passing sane person after rdr2#he’s the one that kept me together#everyone was gone except him and i clung to that motherfucker like a life line#became such a comfort character so fast#ship: sorrows’s remedy#honestly this ship name goes for all of them tbh#amalla and arthur#amalla and hosea#amalla and charles#amalla gets all dem bitches#i don’t wanna headcanon their sexualities cuz my brain will fry AHAHAHA
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ok stupid angst time cuz its 2:30 in the morning and i feel like shit
so. like technically two days ago i passed out at the sight of my own blood, took a header into the corner of a marble table, and couldn’t move my hands or face properly for ten or twenty minutes.
i didn’t go to the hospital. i feel like that was probably a hospital worthy event. maybe i’m stupid. but since then i have felt like shittttt and i’m kinda worried. my hands feel weirdly sluggish, my mouth hurts, my head has been hurting constantly. i just don’t know how to tell my parents, because it feels stupid.
i just. yeah. whatever. everything hurts and i’m worried, considering according to my mom i hit my TEMPLE on the CORNER OF A TABLE (there’s a huge ass bump there and everything) and my dad just kind of. casually offered the idea that maybe i sprained my wrist. and then didn’t say anything else. i was dissociating so hard (and still am) that i’m still debating if it was even real.
of course it’s real. i have an entire fucking bump on my head. there’s a scab on my hand. i just. i hate it here. i’m scared.
what everrrrrr man. stares off out my window or something
#never done vent shit before losing my mind#weird kinda situation here where i dont want anyone to acknowledge this#cuz i dont wanna TALK about my stupid dumb ass teenage issues#when most of my online friends are like. grownups with actual problems#but also. i rlly just want someone to be like#hey man. saw ur post. love ya. mwah mwah#or something#cuz. yeah.#idk. hate it here. i wanna die. not really.#wanna cut myself#probably wont#cuz i’m a fucking coward#but you knowwwwwwwwwww#what ever. sighs.#nobody look at or acknowledge this. but also do. i dont wanna talk about it#but i also do. but also. attention seekinggggggggg#i first posted this on my like fandom blog before remembering i had a private#so it’s on here now.#i just.#yeah idk i’m having a shit time rn#thats what happens when you pass out and crack ur head on a table apparently#someone take me out back and shoot me like old yeller or whatever#but also just send me a 🫂❤️#DON’T OH MY GOD THAT SOUNDS SO PATHETICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
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Tbh I know it seems like I only just became active again but I actually talk about ninjago all the time irl. I’m just scared to say my opinions here cuz everyone is so different from how they used to be. Not that that’s bad but I feel like my opinions are outdated. But I won’t change them.
#mostly about how I hate misako IM SORRYYY OK. DOES THIS RLLY MAKE ME A MISOGYNIST THO???#like if yall wanna ignore the bad writing I hella respect that. but I personally cannot. so I don’t like her. sorry.#cuz I agree she has a lot of potential and there are ways she could be a good character but they just… didn’t make her one. wasted potential#at least they didn’t execute her very well. like I’m shocked ppl like her now. yall can watch s2 and not have ur blood boil?#there are like ten million hypocritical things she does that never get addressed ever and I’m supposed to. ignore that cuz women.#like I’m giving MOST women a pass cuz the writers SUCKKEDD at writing them back then. but I just don’t think misako earned that back#that’s just me personally as I said I respect if yall like her. I think it’s based. I just don’t see why suddenly her haters are called#misogynists. like… the show didn’t handle her well and in fact handled her very frustratingly I’m sorry. congrats to those who move past it.
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Bro I have never wanted to write a paper less than I do right now. I got 2 out of 5 pages written and it’s due tuesday at midnight. Ouuuhhhh my god dude. Philosophy hard :(
#AND I got two other exams I gotta study for. one is my Spanish exam which is gonna take a miracle to pass cuz there’s#a bajillion new tenses we learned this semester and a bunch of vocab I didn’t bother to study for. so that’s awesome.#AND my stats exam which is worth a third of my grade in a class where im barely holding on to passing. bro….. we are cooked!!!!!#I lie posting in tumblr when I don’t wanna be doing things lol :)
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dunmeshi mithruncore (every day I can’t get up to make myself eat at all or get up to use the bathroom or fall asleep or actually do more to help myself unless im told to or someone physically Makes me do it or I finally manage to do so for the first time very very late in the day cuz I forced myself to out of fear)
#im in hell#that thing he said about not being able to sleep without magic or meds is so real#my sleep treatments even stopped working gradually#and if I don’t take any at all im laying awake until fuckinf 7 am#it takes me like an hour of holding it in to use the fuckinf bathroom#and the thing that makes me move is being terrified of kidney failure#it’s 6 pm and I still haven’t eaten my first meal of the day. tried ripping into a protein bar I had saved for moments like this but I can’t#make myself take more than 2 bites#the amount of times these past few years I’ve practically passed out from hunger cuz I just. cannot make myself get up to eat or make myself#something. omfgggggggff#I literally am a magic practitioner and have helped myself with spell work many times in the past yet I just can’t. make myself utilize it#more. yet I have all these books and supplies to use. and I’ve studied for hours and hours and know what to do#and it’s crazy cuz when im high off the sleep treatment THEN I actually do things but I don’t wanna use that more cuz im afraid of getting#addicted uhm. yeah idk what to even do anymore#my bf helps tremendously with leading me to do things but I don’t wanna take advantage of him too much and he’s long distance#but jesus fuck im literally on adderall now but its my emotional problems that keep it from working#it’s like wtf happened#I can’t fucking do anything unless someone’s there to guide me through it or keep me engaged as I work or they push me to in some way#and it’s like wow. cuz I want independence more than anything#it’s crazy cuz I related with his old self to the T especially with the desires and competitivity problems and trying to gain things he#doesn’t even actually want just for leverage and a sense of worth and the ‘if im not on the top on everything i dont have actual worth’thing#and other stuff I can’t remember off the top of my head. and I actually had friends and was more talkative#but now it’s like#🪿#yk what I mean#there’s a shitload of other things I relate too hard with but I can’t remember rn or I won’t mention cuz too much to go into#my bf said if he were around irl he’d cook for me and help with stuff when I go thru being like this nonstop which hey nice cuz obv id help#him with anything too#I mean there’s days where im better and can Do Things but it never lasts long and it sucks I can’t ever trust myself having a job or#I had all these things I wanted to do but I just feel nothing toward it and it drives me insane like can this maybe Not happen so often
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I did end up skipping my 8 am microbiology lecture so I could study/review a bit more for the second part of my chem exam. It was definitely harder as I expected… I just hope I didn’t totally fail it. Like I’ve said, a 65% or greater is a “C”, and all I want is to pass this chemistry class with a C…
#I’ll admit I almost cried towards the end when time was running out and I didn’t finish like 2-3 problems…#I just want to pass this class with a C… that’s all I ask#I’m still gonna try to talk to a counselor on that app this school recommends later this evening#I just need enough time to talk and enough time to calm down cuz I know I’m gonna cry and I don’t wanna be a mess before I go home#jazz uses curse! 💜
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I’m a master of avoidance (muted twitter and pretends it doesn’t exist because I get sick at the thought of it)
#I’m sure I have a dailycgo day coming up or maybe it’s already passed. idk I don’t wanna check cuz it makes me wanna panic whenever I think-#-about it. thus I am avoiding it and lowkey anything that makes me think of it oops sorry#also I’ve been avoiding my main twitter for ages because it makes me so stressed and just. not balling lmao#i do not like it.#vent#<- ish
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I had a dream that I signed up for a kids version of American idiot the musical on ice and I was really excited because I know all the lyrics to Jesus of Suburbia but I didn’t know it was supposed to be on ice cuz I don’t know how to skate and the teacher didn’t like me much so my friends and I snuck out and went out to lunch. After that we went to like a combo of a drugstore and a Michael’s. Then we went home and I told mom I wanna quit because idk how to skate so we did
And then my childhood mailman challenged us to a cookoff where we had to use RAO’s branded sauce but we declined and he got pissed
We also passed this really weird hibachi restaurant where I got a glass of water but I think I might’ve stole it because it was like $30 and I didn’t pay????
what the fuck is up with my brain
edit: I made a visual
#yipppeeee#help#yippee#help idk what im doing#manic pixie dream girl#dream#dreamcore#surreal#dream journal#funny as hell#funny content#funny memes#funnyshit#funny pics#funny stuff#funny#funny shit#funny post#humor#jokes#memes#lol#haha#actually adhd#adhd brain#what the fuck#lmao#idk lmao#lmaooo#lol. lmao even
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As It Was
warnings: 18+, weed usage, smut, unprotected sex, soulmate au(kind of), little hatefuckin before real fucking, reader is a brat, mentions of suicide, oral(f receiving, logan is an EATER), claws come out when he…, little bit of primal play, breeding kink, daddy kink, implied age gap cuz i think it’s hot, im prolly gonna write him like an animal, think that’s it!! LOL
Logan Howlett x female!reader
summary: after saving his world from extinction, wade brings home a wolverine. you feel a tether to him but can't quite figure out what it is, but logan does. as the days go by you slowly chip away at the wall between you two and things slowly return to as it was.
word count: 4.5k
title is inspired by the hozier song of the same name....
It’s been three months now and you still couldn’t figure out the pull you felt toward Logan. The moment Wade brought him through the door, Mary Puppins in hand, you felt a tie to him. Now, it was as if the Red String of Fate was punishing you for not remembering your connection with him. It was haunting, aggravating, and pushing you towards sexual frustration because no matter how much you tried to remember, your thoughts would instantly become clouded with your attraction to him. He was brooding, grumpy, and humorous when he wanted to. The stoic exterior of him was just that, a shell. You just weren’t quite sure how to crack his nut yet.
You were sat in the main room of the apartment grinding up some green to pack a morning bowl. As you were getting ready to fill the glass you heard Wade’s voice echo through the apartment.
“You always grind Aunt Mary so hard. Don’t you think she would like to be loved tenderly, sugarbear?”
“And the last time I gave you the grinder there might as well have been a whole nug in the bowl. You damn near burned half my stash.”
“You’d think living with three addicts would be fun, but it’s more like babysitting toddlers fighting to see who can ruin my day first. Spoiler: it’s everyone.”
You chuckled, slotting the bowl into the joint of the bong, and pointed at Wade with it.
“You wanna hit this or not?”
“‘Course I do. How could I pass up a wake n bake with my girl?”
Wade jogged over to you, plopping dramatically on the seat next to you. Rolling your eyes, you took the first hit letting Wade finish off the remaining smoke in the shaft. Exhaling you spoke while the smoke billowed out of your mouth.
“Wade, baby, I love you, but I’m not your girl. What about Nessa?”
Before he spoke, he had his coughing fit like clockwork. Every time, no matter the method, resulted in a cough so bad he looked like a drooling dog. It was free entertainment but you tried your hardest not to laugh out loud because every time you did, it made it worse.
You couldn’t hold it
It was like watching a court jester and when Wade finally caught his breath he was staring off at a wall in the apartment mindlessly reaching for the glass. When his hand was left fondling the air reaching nothing, you let your laugh echo through the apartment.
“You sure you want another one?”
“Just gimme the weed, gorgeous. And to answer your question. Vanessa and I are on a break of sorts, but I’m wounded that I now have lost you too. It’s cause I brought Peanut here isn’t it?”
Wade was feigning heartbreak, just busting your balls in an effort to see if you’d crack. Your relationship was always like this and that was probably why you two got along so well. Nothing was ever too serious and yet still completely vulnerable. As wild as he was, Wade was a safe space for you and for some reason this morning, you felt like sharing.
“Perhaps.”
His head whipped so fast you thought it’d fly off. Coupled with his dramatic gasp and chest grab you nearly regretted your admission.
“I knew it!”
“Will you keep it down, it’s not that serious.”
“Au contraire. This is probably the most serious thing since Blind Al ran out of Peruvian marching powder.”
Rolling your eyes, you swallowed your pride as you knew Wade wouldn’t let it go until you told him every detail possible. As much as you pretended you hated divulging this information, it was kinda nice to let out to somebody. You’d been wrestling with so many feelings since Wade brought Logan to stay with you guys and the weight of it was becoming painful.
“Well, he’s hot obviously.”
“Tell me something more interesting, we all disrespectfully gawk at the honey badger.” Wade quipped.
“The problem is I feel this weird attachment to him. Like I’ve known him before. Maybe we met before they tried their best to wipe my memory, but I can’t shake this one. I’m drawn to him but he won’t let anyone get close enough to figure that out.”
You had your own run-in with the TVA a few years ago and instead of dumping you into the void, they were nice enough to plop you in Earth-10005. You were grateful considering the stories of this barren garbage heap that Wade and Logan told you about but you couldn’t remember why they sent you here in the first place.
You had no real memory of your life before this or what you did that fucked you up so badly. It always haunted you. Maybe you were a murderer. A merciless killer and that’s why they snagged you. A similar fate to Wade’s but they decided somewhere that you weren’t equipped for the job and the TVA orphaned you to another universe.
You weren’t complaining, you loved the life that you had now you just wanted to remember the rest of you. You were roaming this universe, a husk of your former self and no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that it didn’t bother you, it did. It kept you up at night. Until Logan walked through the apartment door.
Slowly, things started to reveal themselves to you but only in a dream. You were forced to piece together your life with the shattered fragments of what your dreamscape gave you to work with. You’d wake up from the most vivid dreams only to remember one instance where you were walking down a street, the sky pouring rain in a godly attempt to cleanse you. Your hands were always coated in crimson when you looked down.
It’d come in flashes and it’d end just as fast. You were patient with yourself but a lot of times you tried to drown out the feeling with various substances. Weed being your vice of choice as alcohol made you suffer. Making you wish that an attempt of self-mutilation or the bittersweet release of dancing with death while your wrists stained the floor garnet succeeded.
They never did.
So you tried your best to make peace with your life and you were doing alright until Logan showed up. Now the universe was mocking you. Testing to see if you’d slip up and forget everything you learned.
“I think he’d like to figure you out, y/n. Do with that what you will.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Wade shrugged his shoulders handing you the bong back. As he stood up you took one last hit and left the glass piece on the table. As you exhaled, Logan’s voice pierced through the silence.
“Jesus. D’ya have to stink up the apartment with that shit? Can’t go outside?”
“Easy, peanut. The art of the wake n bake is sacred. Plus, talk to the gardener if you have requests to make, not me.”
Wade pointed to you as he wandered off into the kitchen and you reached for the bong motioning it to Logan.
“Wanna hit?”
Logan hit you with a short ‘no’ and it almost hurt your feelings. Your gaze flicked over to Wade who was mouthing to you something you couldn’t quite make out but he was pointing to Logan while doing it. Your brain spazzed for a moment before coming up with a response as you stood.
“You want coffee or something, Lo?”
“Sure, kid.”
You walked into the kitchen with Wade and started whispering to him.
“What the fuck? Of course, he comes out while I’m blowing up the house.”
“I don’t see why you’re worried, he doesn’t seem upset.”
You turned around trying your best not to look suspicious.
“Yes, the fuck he does. I’m gonna fuck this up before I even get the chance to start-”
“-You two morons know I can hear you, right?”
You hung your head in defeat finishing up the two cups before setting one in front of Logan and holding yours while you stood. The air was thick, but not uncomfortable. It just felt like everyone needed to get something off their chest and didn’t know how to start. Before you opened your mouth to speak, Wade’s voice cut you off while he sent a text message.
“Well, I’m gonna leave you lovebirds to it. I’ve got a pegging date.”
Again. Mocking you. The universe seemed to just have it out for you and apparently, today was the day of honesty. You took a seat across from Logan wondering where to direct the conversation.
“You hungry? I can make us something.”
“I’m alright kid, not too keen on stoner food in the morning.”
“Hey, I’m still a good cook when I’m cooked. I just wanted to offer.” You paused.
“Also if you have a problem with it, I’ll find a new spot. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”
“No need. Just giving you guys a hard time. We all have something to cope with our shit.”
You nodded knowing he was referencing his drinking habit, or problem if we were feeling honest. You left your coffee cup on the table and stood up, wanting to Irish goodbye in your own home. But you didn’t want to add any more bricks to this wall even though it felt like the silence was already doing so.
“Well, um. I’m gonna chill out for a bit in my room if you need anything.”
He hummed to let you know he heard you and you walked down the hallway to your bedroom before stopping in your tracks. Something possessed you and you had to get this out. The test was walking away and if you finished that journey into your bedroom and locked the door, nothing would be resolved. Turning on your heel, you walked back into the kitchen and faced Logan.
“Why do you hate me?”
He nearly choked on his coffee, the noise echoing in the cup.
“What?”
You sighed, trying to not feel silly about your admission.
“Why do you hate me? And if you don’t, why do you act like it? It’s so hard to get through to you and it feels like I’m talking to a fucking wall.”
“Kid-”
“And stop ‘kid’ing me! If it’s out of endearment it doesn’t feel like it.”
Your heart rate was rising and you could feel your skin getting hot. The months of pent up emotions were finally boiling over and you couldn’t stop it. You needed to know why.
“What is it then, y/n?”
“Why can’t I get through to you? Every time I try, you shut me down by being curt with me and I’m left with the same feeling as before. I can’t shake this feeling that I know you and I can’t even get close to you without you shoving me away like I have a fatal disease. So why, Logan? All I wanna know is why?”
He sighed knowing there was no easy way to escape this.
“Kid–sorry. It’s complicated. I know that feeling. I feel it too, but I know why it’s there and I don’t want to fuck it up again.”
Again?
“What do you mean again?”
Logan sighed and said nothing. Hanging his head in what you thought was shame but most definitely could be avoidance. It frustrated you even more so because why couldn’t he just talk to you?
“Here we go again, nothing?! Is it so hard to just say what this is?”
“It’s not that simple, bub.”
You scoffed and turned around to walk to your room. You needed to clear your head because it was more than apparent that a solution would not be provided for you. Logan didn’t have the courage to reveal what he knew so a walk away from him would have to suffice.
“Y/n! Where are you going?”
“I need to clear my head since obviously you don’t have the gall to tell me what the fuck is going on.”
Slipping your shoes on, you tried to move past Logan but he was blocking the doorway.
“Move.”
“Y/n. Just-”
“I said move, Logan.”
One wall after another you kept hitting, except this one was physically him. He nearly filled up the doorway and his frame was imposing. You tried to figure out how you’d slip past him but you were so heated that you were about to settle for dramatics before he moved his body just enough for you to slip past. You stared at him, looking for something in his eyes to tell you to stay but it just made you more irritated. You walked down the hallway and almost made it to the door before you felt his hand wrap around your wrist.
“Do you get a kick out of torturing me or something?”
“Sweetheart, if you just—just sit down and let me say what I need to say.”
“Oh, now you wanna fucking talk. Let go of me. I’m not in the mood to talk anymore.”
Logan’s grip on you tightened as you struggled against him and you pushed on his chest trying to get him off of you. He was stunned by your actions and so were you but you couldn’t stop. You kept pushing him away from you until he grabbed your upper arms stabilizing you but you still were pressing your hands against his chest. He was calling your name trying to calm you down but you were too lost in your emotions. You thrashed your head up, trying to plead with him silently to let you go even though you knew that was the last thing you wanted.
When your eyes met his, one of his hands cradled the back of your head and before you could register it, his lips were slotted against yours in a moment of desire and exasperation. Bated breath, fury, and sexual confusion fueled the kiss but you’d be a liar to say you didn’t enjoy this feeling. His body flesh against yours, the heat bouncing between the two of you nearly suffocating and it had only been seconds. Logan had you pressed against the wall his hands roaming the curves of your body and his knee slotted itself in between your thighs, completely caging you against him.
He pushed his knee up into the apex of your thighs applying a delicate pressure to your center. You moaned against him, your body rolling your hips into the feeling. His hands were roaming over your body in a frenzy, like if he didn’t touch you fast enough you’d disappear. Your hands wrapped into his hair, pulling on his sandy brown locks as you tried to stabilize yourself into the feeling.
Logan pulled away from you, a string of spit the only thing left connecting you two until it broke and you felt the cold air vaporize the heat on your swollen lips. You were staring at his features, locked in his gaze hoping that if you didn’t break eye contact he’d stay right here. His gruff voice broke the heady silence.
“Since you wanna be a brat and not talk anymore, I have no choice but to show you how I feel, sugar.”
Logan slid his hands down until they were underneath the swell of your ass and told you to jump. As your legs wrapped around his waist, he walked down the hallway to your room. His senses were incredibly heightened at this moment and when he breached the threshold of your room, he was intoxicated by the smell of you swirling the room.
As he laid you down on your bed, your scent wafted off of the sheets with a gentle breeze and he was soon surrounded by a nest of you and your arousal. He prowled over your body, taking you in and memorizing every inch of you, how you were restless against him, and how your lower half mindlessly moved against him in desperate need of some sort of friction.
He uttered a low growl against you as he snaked up to your neck leaving a string of hot kisses against your skin. The scruff of his beard nearly overstimulated you and had you clawing at his skin, frantic in your efforts, soft moans escaped your lips in wordless need of feeling something more.
“Don’t wanna talk but I got you whimpering for me, huh princess?”
“Lo-”
“Shh, baby. I got you.”
Logan bit your ear, pulling at the skin before he tugged at the bottom of your shirt and you lifted your back just enough so that he could slip it off of you. Your upper body was fully exposed to him as your tits pancaked on your chest. As he lowered his face back down to your body, he trailed down your skin with his nose inhaling every last inch of you. The action was so subdued in comparison to the rest of his demeanor that you got completely lost in the feeling.
As his face met your stomach, the scent of your arousal was incredibly inebriating, deluging his mind with salacity. He traced the waistband of your shorts with his nose, encasing his teeth around the elastic piece of fabric before replacing his mouth with his hands as he languidly pulled them down your legs. Tossing them across the room he looked up at you.
“You want this?”
“Please.” You mewled out.
Logan shoved his nose against your panties inhaling your scent before rubbing your bud through the fabric as he came back up your body to capture your lips in a searing kiss. He pulled your panties from your body, your slick stretching as the fabric left your messy lips. The cool air was welcomed but was soon replaced by the warmth of Logan’s mouth against your petals.
He lapped at you like a dog. A wanton primal need taking over his senses. He wanted to be enveloped in you and you in him. In every timeline, he’d claim you and this one was no different. You tangled your hands in his hair, rolling your pussy into his face as he sloppily ate you out. His hands were wrapped around your hips holding you in place as he greedily drank you in.
You could feel the spit dripping down your folds and forming a cool pool of fervour beneath your skin. Eyes rolling back in ecstasy you could feel your orgasm begin to settle in your lower stomach, heat rippling across your skin. Your moans increased in frequency but became more breathy in nature as you came closer to your high.
Logan’s hand snaked up your curves and his fingers teased your nipples, pulling and pinching at the sensitive skin as he felt your body grow more tense with desire. Dragging his calloused hands down your body one last time, he inserted a finger into your wet, libertine cavern and you sucked him in with need. The stretch of him adding a second finger pushing you right to your edge as he curled them inside of you.
“Lo- I’m gonna-”
“I know, sugar. Let it out. Lemme hear you”
He immediately put his tongue back on your clit, and let you ride out your high against his face. Your moans gained volume completely immersed in the pleasure. When the ripples of euphoria finally dwindled, you looked down at Logan and pulled him up to your face so you could kiss him. The tang of your sex was still present on his lips and it ignited something within you.
“You got too many fuckin clothes on, Daddy.”
You were breathless. Lost in a licentious rhapsody as you had him hovering over your body and when Logan paused his movements to look at you, you thought you ruined the moment. He could smell the change in you and spoke before you had the chance to apologize for nothing.
“Say it again.”
He could feel you heartbeat pounding in your chest, arousal returning to the forefront of your mind.
“Wanna see you. Feel all of you, Daddy.”
Your voice was dripping sex, his personal psychedelic. He freed himself from his beater and you palmed his bulge through his sweats. Slipping your hand past the waistband, you stroked his heavy cock.
“Lemme make you feel good.”
You were getting ready to flip your bodies over, but Logan pinned you to the bed his eyes boring through you. You felt so small underneath him, like he could do whatever he wanted to you and you’d let him. When he spoke he broke you from the trance.
“Another time, sweetheart. This is about showing you how I feel about you since my baby needs me to spell it out for her.”
Slipping out of his sweats his cock was on full display, so heavy that it didn’t have the spring to bounce against his stomach. It hung in front of him, heady and in desperate need to be inside of you. Precum and prurience leaked from his tip. Logan crawled on top of you, the tip of his cock rubbing between your folds, coating your slick across his shaft.
“Tell me what you want. Tell me how you want me to fuck you.”
You squeezed around nothing, the action not going unnoticed by Logan. You mewled against him, just wanting him to ravish you in every way possible. You wanted to be marked, for everyone to see that you belonged to him but you couldn’t find the words to articulate this feeling while this sexual heat was radiating off of your bodies and numbing your mind.
Logan slowly pushed his tip into your rapt cunt before pulling it out and sliding it against your clit. The withdrawal of pleasure bringing you to your senses.
“I want you to make me yours. Wanna belong to you, Lo.”
You were wanton with need. The desire for him became nearly unbearable and it was all soon resolved as he pushed his cock past your pious walls, defiling you of any innocence you had left. You wanted to be claimed, he’d claim you. Animal instinct took over as he rocked his hips into your cunt, your walls fluttering around him in ardor. Low growls left his throat as he nipped at the skin on your neck, alternating between kissing the marks and swiping them with his tongue. He was marking you, making you his own.
It was like he couldn’t get close enough to you as he thrusted into you. His arms wrapped around your body as you fell limp to the pleasure. You felt another orgasm on the horizon and you tried your best to warn Logan by sinking your nails into his back, leaving red trails of morbid desire to mark him as yours. You didn’t realize the amount of pressure you were putting on his skin, but the groans that left him had that concern pushed to the back of your mind. Your orgasm washed over you and your pussy squeezed so tight around him that you nearly pushed him out of you. You were entranced, drunk on him and his cock, still desperate for more.
It was like he could hear your thoughts because as soon as you thought of a second round, Logan was flipping you on your hands and knees and you arched your back as he rubbed his hand along the small of it, accentuating your arch. His cock filled your sugared walls one more time and as he buried himself to the hilt. Wrapping a hand around your neck, he brought your body flesh against his.
“Gonna fuckin breed you. Never gonna forget you who belong to, sweetheart.”
You couldn’t help the preemptive squeezing of his cock at the mention of him breeding you. The thought of him filling you with all of him was grossly erotic and Logan took the chance to taunt you.
“Oh? You like that, huh? Want daddy to breed your pretty little pussy?”
You hummed, your eyes lidded as you tried to see him over your shoulder. Sweat was sticking your bodies together and you only noticed how hot it was between the two of you when he pushed your body forward, cool air hitting your back as he began to mold your cunt to the shape of his cock. His tip was kissing your cervix and repeatedly hit that spot deep inside of you that made you squirm against his body.
His thrusts were becoming sloppy, his breaths ragged and you could feel your third orgasm of the night creeping on you. Low growls complimented the whimpers that were leaving your mouth and being somewhat muffled by the fabric of your sheets. You couldn’t hold his hips against you to ensure that he stayed inside so you just whimpered out a small ‘inside’ as you felt your orgasm begin to wash over your body.
Logan wasn’t far behind, one hand resting on your hips and his other by your head steadying himself above you. Sinking his teeth into your neck, you cried out in avidity and rapture filled his veins before painting his seed across your walls. You heard a faint schwing and as you opened your eyes, you saw that his claws were extended. As you moved your hips back into him to fuck you through the rest of your high, you accidentally nicked yourself on one of his blades. He hissed against you uttering a strained ‘don’t move’ as the luxuria dissipated in his body.
As he calmed down, his claws retracted back into skin and he gently rolled you over to gaze over your features. He moved a few sweat-stricken pieces of hair off of your face and placed a gentle kiss on your lips, which was such a contrast from before. Pulling out of you he pushed himself off the bed.
“Be right back.”
Returning with a warm towel, he cleaned you up and grabbed a shirt from one of your drawers waiting for you to put it in before sliding next to you in the bed. You curled into him, tracing patterns into his chest. Looking up at him, you felt none of the tension from before in the room and you decided that this would be the time.
“So, what did you mean by ‘again’ earlier?”
Logan sighed but not out of exasperation like it was earlier, it was softer this time.
“In my world, we were together. That’s the pull you feel. But in like so many other areas in that timeline, I fucked up and I lost you. I’d rather have kept you at a distance than not have you at all, but I fucked that up too, now.”
He laughed the last bit out, a touch of humor apparent in his delivery. Sighing, you felt like something could work here between the two of you.
“Well, whenever you’re ready to tell me what happened between your timeline’s me and you, I’ll wait patiently for it. But until then, know that you’re not losing me here. I’m yours as long as you want me.”
You didn’t expect a response from him, nor did you feel like you really needed one. You wanted to relish in this moment between the two of you and soon enough sleep overtook both of your forms.
© yeonjuns-beanie '24
~Just as it was, baby Before the otherness came And I knew its name The love, the dark, the light, the flame~
#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#deadpool & wolverine#logan howlett imagine#wolverine imagine#x men smut#older logan#deadpool and wolverine smut#marvel smut#marvel mcu#mcu#james howlett#wolverine fanfiction#hugh jackman
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Kitty Kat (Roman Reigns)
After a lifetime of searching, the Tribal Chief may have finally found the woman of his dreams. Post Summerslam 2024.
Warnings: SMUT (yes i know its excessive im sorry 😭)
Word Count: 5.3k
A/N: This got way too long bc I talk too much. I tried to shorten it I promise but I just couldn't. I do hope you like it either way...
Song inspiration: Again - Lenny Kravitz
Credit to the owners of the pics and gifs
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He could get used to this.
As he stepped off the plane, Joe discreetly adjusted the bulge in his pants and exhaled deeply, allowing himself a giddy smile in anticipation for what was to come.
He couldn’t wait to see her again. His Kitty Kat. The interesting part was that this time, she’d flown him out to come spend the week with her, in First Class, no less. “It’s a five-hour flight from Cleveland to L.A., so I want you to be as comfortable as possible, Daddy,” she’d told him. Never in his wildest dreams did he envision being ‘flewed out’. He’d been the one flying her out in his private jet, chartering luxury vehicles to bring her to him. The reverse felt strange and would take some getting used to, but it did feel nice to be pampered and taken care of for once.
Seated comfortably in the back of the Cadillac Escalade driving him through the City of Angels, he reminisced about last night in Cleveland. It was fun to hear the crowd again, the adrenaline rush of his entrance music blaring all around the Browns Stadium. It was a long absence from wrestling for him, darkened by the passing of his father, followed by the whirlwind preparation and execution of his funeral, grand, exhausting and emotional. Kat being by his side for all of it was a precious elixir he could never repay her for, but perhaps he could start tonight.
His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. It was an unknown number, but against his better judgment, he answered and hoped it wasn’t some weirdo fan. “Hello?”
“You left town without telling me? I saw you all over Summerslam last night!” the shrill, familiar voice responded.
Scratch that. Now he wished it was a fan. “I know I blocked your ass. This is stalking,” was his cold greeting.
“I just want us to talk, Joe! We can’t just end things the way we did!”
“Ain’t nothin’ to talk about, Ebony. I got the DNA test I wanted. Go find your baby daddy and leave me the fuck alone.”
“Are you ever gonna forgive me? I made a mistake!” Ebony pleaded. “You didn’t even invite me to Sika’s funeral. That hurt my feelings, Joe.”
“Bitch, don’t piss me off!” Joe countered angrily. “Blurting out that I’m not Josiah’s daddy was not a mistake! I also found the messages in your phone, remember? You and your little group chat laughed at me, laughed about me raising a kid that ain't mine!”
“That’s a female ass trait, y’know, lookin’ through my phone and invading my privacy!” Ebony complained.
“You can invade these nuts,” Joe dismissed, “You cheated on me and lied about the paternity of your son! That’s enough for me to wash my hands off of you and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
For a second, Ebony was quiet. Then, “Let me guess. You’re with that uppity rich bitch. She was at your dad’s funeral, both of y'all looked so cozy in the videos. She's the reason you don’t wanna work things out, right? Weren’t you seeing her before we broke up? Who’s the cheater now, huh?”
Joe scoffed in disbelief. After all she’d done to make his life a living hell, she was still gaslighting him. “We were over long before I started seeing her. I only hung around cuz I thought the kid you were carrying was mine. Don’t act like your whorish toxic ways didn’t drive me into her arms in the first place! You broke us up, so I’ve moved on from your evil ass. Simple.”
Ebony kissed her teeth. “You are so disrespectful to me, always have been. You never cared about me. It was all about your fucking wrestling. You were always gone! I was lonely! I needed you and you didn't give a shit!”
“So that’s why you opened your legs for some bum, got knocked up, and lied that I was the father? You disrespected yourself!” He felt himself getting riled up and had to compose himself. He would not let his ex ruin his day. “Imma make this clear so even you can understand. We. Are. Done. Call me again and it’s my attorney you’ll be talking to.” Cutting off the call, he then blocked the number and deleted it for added measure.
Fuck that ho.
Anyway, back to his girl, Kat. It had been an amazing few months so far with her. Of course, he’d googled her in the beginning, asked Heyman to run a background check to make sure she was legit and not a psychopath like his ex. Katrina Sullivan was one of the most famous music producers in the world and the top executive at her renowned publishing label. She was a big time player in her industry just like he was, a star in her own right, and it was a match made in Heaven.
Not only was she incredibly beautiful, but sex with her was a wild ride. She gave him a run for his money whenever they fucked. She was all about new experiences and wasn’t too prissy to fuck inside a car or suck him off outside a dive bar. He blushed every time he remembered the freaky shit they got up to after his loss at Wrestlemania. Long story short, she made him feel much better about dropping the belt. He loved that she loved sex as much as he did, and if he wasn’t hooked on her before, he was completely addicted after that night.
And it wasn’t all about the physical. There was an emotional bond they shared, a connection that he’d never felt with anyone else before her. Talking with her felt like talking with a friend. He would unload his good days and bad days on her and she would listen to all of it without passing judgment. He did the same for her and was proud to be the one she learned to trust after her own past heartbreaks. Joe wished he’d had the courage to leave Ebony earlier. Perhaps he would have found the woman who had become his peace, his safe haven, and closed the hole in his heart much, much sooner.
A Google Map search helped him find the best florist in town. The ladies in the shop ooh'ed and ahh'ed over the beautiful bouquet of roses he bought and how lucky his lady was. But he thought he was the lucky one. As he took a deep breath and inhaled the flowers, he felt his stomach flutter at the thought of her beautiful face, her smile, her warm embrace. Joe knew he was in love, but he didn’t quite know how to tell her yet. It was weird enough that he lowkey felt like a thot being flown out. He really didn’t mind, though. All he wanted was to be with her and just be in her presence, in her aura. He would tell her when he was ready.
-----------------
Kat’s mansion was the stuff of dreams. Isolated on the hills of the Pacific Palisades overlooking lush Californian greenery, it was one of her rewards as the most in-demand producer in music today. The living room segued into the kitchen, which welcomed him with the smell of freshly cooked food. Pasted to her stainless steel refrigerator by a small circular ‘Acknowledge Me’ magnet, was a note from her saying that she’d just headed out for a last-minute meeting and directed him to the oven where a warm skillet of sirloin steak and seasoned roasted potatoes waited for him. She had also stocked her fridge with his Megafit meals along with C4 Energy drinks and a few bottles of her own branded tequila. His baby was spoiling him rotten and he was digging it.
He first put the fresh flowers in a vase he filled with water before settling down to eat. He wished she was here with him, but he understood more than anyone how busy things could be when you were at the top of your game. He was proud of her and wanted her to get all the coins she deserved. Halfway through his meal, he pulled out his phone and checked on her.
After dinner, he embarked on a little tour around her breathtaking abode which ended up taking several minutes to complete. Joe had some nice homes of his own around the globe, but this floored them all. The edifice dripped with luxury and was crafted to perfection, just like his Kitty Kat was. He enjoyed the gorgeous city view from her balcony as he sipped on some tequila. Her bathroom was spacious and had a waterfall shower that he luxuriated in when he stepped inside. One side of her walk-in wardrobe was lined with an assortment of brand new t-shirts, pants and dress shirts all for him. Of course she knew his size; she’d ripped his clothing off of him on many occasions. His stomach was doing flips as the time continued to tick by. It was hilarious that the big bad Tribal Chief was acting all giddy at the mere thought of a woman, but here he was, entangled in her expensive satin sheets, counting down the minutes until she was back in his arms.
----------------
The sound of running water jerked him awake. The plane ride must have worn him out more than he thought; he didn’t even realize when he fell asleep. The sky outside was now pitch black but the bathroom lights were switched on. As he sat upright in the bed, something rolled down his bare chest and onto his lap. He looked down and his breath hitched. A sheer, baby pink-colored thong, just removed. Unable to resist, he held it up to his nose and shivered as her sensual aroma filled his nostrils and sent all his blood rushing south. With newfound enthusiasm, he climbed out of the bed and padded over to the bathroom.
Katrina’s back was turned to him, standing over the tub as she drained the bath. Draped in a fluffy lilac bathrobe that barely covered her backside as she bent over, Joe chose to stand there and admire her, letting his eyes follow the rivulets of water that trickled down her long shapely legs. He trailed his gaze along the backs of her knees and her oh-so-sexy thighs, stopping at her luscious derrière where he found her pussy lips, slick and glistening, winking at him. He groaned out loud at the sight, feeling his bulge stir in his drawstring shorts.
Alerted by the noise he made, Kat spun around and sighed. "Oh, damn," she frowned and bounced her fist against her thigh.
Joe raised an eyebrow at her reaction. “Did I frighten you?”
“Not really. I wanted to wake you up by sucking your dick.”
Chuckling heartily, he stepped closer. "You still can, baby. Don’t let me stop you,” he said, sealing their lips together in a kiss he’d been thinking about for weeks. He held her tight, molding their bodies together as time seemed to stop all around them. The anticipation had been building all day and just this moment alone was worth the long wait.
Joe sighed happily against her lips, his fingers massaging the back of her neck. “Mmm, I can tell you missed me. Did you miss me, baby?”
“You know I did, Daddy,” she whispered back. It had been months in the making, but Kat was thrilled that he was finally here in her humble abode. She pulled back to regard him, marveling at the sheer height and width of him, his bare, broad chest showcasing that beautiful tattoo and all those muscles. Fuck, he was so hot. “I saw the roses in the kitchen, they’re beautiful,” she said.
“Not as beautiful as you are, baby,” Joe answered, brushing his thumb along her bottom lip. “How was your meeting?”
Kat huffed and rolled her eyes. “Waste of my time. Don’t really wanna talk about it,” she added, changing the topic to a more exciting one. “You looked so good last night, babe. I could see how happy you were to be back.”
“I was,” he admitted, his light brown eyes lighting up. “Bro, hearing the fans go bananas when my music hit was insane. And all those fingers in the air, too. Four years of bustin' my ass finally paying off.”
“Huh. I had one finger out too, but it wasn’t in the air, and I was layin’ in bed. Naked,” Kat teased, fluttering her long eyelashes at him.
The thought of her writhing around in bed aroused by his show of violence caused another tightening in his shorts. With a growl in his voice, he responded, "Show me."
“Wait.” She put up one hand before he could grab her. “Before we get started…I never got to ask you because we were so busy with the funeral…But did you take the DNA test?” she asked, watching with dismay as his face fell. He looked away with a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, something she learned he did when he was reeling in his emotions.
“Yeah. Josiah’s not mine,” he replied sadly.
Two distinct emotions of her own rushed through Kat at this news. Relief, that he was no longer tied to Ebony and he could now, finally, move on with his life. Move on with her. Disappointment, on his behalf, knowing that he had enjoyed getting to know the baby boy he’d thought was his child. “I’m so sorry,” was all she could muster.
“Don’t be. At least I know the truth now. I care about the kid, but he’s not my responsibility any more,” he choked out, the sting of losing that sweet little boy still raw and painful.
“Oh, baby.” Kat rubbed her hands up and down his broad back to soothe him. She regretted downing the mood and sought to fix it. “What can I do?”
Joe shook his head and sank into her embrace. “Just be with me, like this. I wanna be with you. Thank you for bringing me out here, it’s exactly what I needed.”
“Of course. You know I gotchu,” she assured him, butterflies sprouting inside her belly as he dropped feather-light kisses on her neck, trailing along her shoulder which was soon bare as he slipped off her robe and dropped it to the floor. She tugged down his shorts and her hungry gaze zeroed in on that other part of him that she missed. All those FaceTime calls and selfies did very little justice to the real thing. This was his first time on her turf, and she was determined to use this week wisely, especially as this extended period didn’t quite exist before.
In the beginning, their meetings were brief and eventful, a couple of hours’ escape from the madness going on in their individual lives. Meet up, scorch the sheets, and wake to the sound of the rustle of clothes pulled from the floor, the sharp zipping of bags, quick kisses goodbye followed by the front door quietly clicking open and shut. At each other’s mercy at sunset then disappearing before dawn to resume reality. It was a thrill at first but as time passed, Kat realized she wanted more with him. She wanted to begin and end her days in his sturdy arms. Wanted them to shower together, to eat together and spend much more time together. Simply put, she wanted to be a real couple, and she was ecstatic when he confessed that he wanted the same. Coming to L.A. was a great start and it excited Kat to no end.
Hand in hand, they walked together, naked, out of the bathroom. She giggled as he followed closely behind her, kissing her neck and touching her body along the way. As they reached the bed, Joe noticed the bottle of champagne sitting in a bucket full of ice on the nightstand. Kat read his mind. “Just a lil’ sumn to celebrate your arrival,” she clarified, as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her to stand between his legs. His gaze was soft, yet beautifully intense as he ran his hands up her thighs and her hips, cupping her backside and bringing her even closer to him. He pressed his lips to her stomach, adorning her belly with gentle, open-mouthed kisses that felt so good she moaned pleasurably in approval.
“I’m in love with you,” he whispered against her brown skin, his voice clear yet filled with a vulnerability he’d never felt before.
Kat smiled down at him. “Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“For real?” His heart pounding so hard in his chest he was sure she could hear it.
Her smile widened as she loosened his ponytail, letting the long dark locks fall and frame his breathtaking features like the angel he was. Her angel. “Yeah. I mean…After everything we’ve shared, after getting to know the beautiful person that you are, of course I’m in love with you too.”
They were words he’d been hoping to hear from her for a while now, and now that he had, he was robbed of every sensation other than joy and peace and the burning need to make love to her nonstop for the rest of his stay in the West Coast. “You’re beautiful too, baby girl,” he rasped, drawing her back in, “So fuckin’ beautiful…”
They clung to each other, making out with increasing passion, both of them extremely aroused and more desperate than ever in the wake of this wonderful revelation. As they kissed, he slipped one hand over her breast, kneading gently, eliciting from her those purring sounds that earned her sexy little nickname. He missed his Kitty Kat so much. The last time they were together was at his father’s funeral, and he couldn't be with her the way he wanted to be. Now that they were all alone there was nothing stopping him from having his way with her.
But apparently, she had other plans.
She pushed him hard in the chest, smirking at his surprised grunt as he hit the mattress rather unceremoniously. “Get in,” she instructed him.
He frowned petulantly at her, but did as he was told, dragging himself backwards up the bed with his eyes on her at all times. He felt his mouth go dry as she crawled towards him on all fours like the sexy ass kitten she was. As she reached the space between his open legs, she surprised him by picking up her thong and winding it around his wrists, securing it tight before pushing his arms over his head.
“Baby…” he pouted.
“Shhhh,” Kat shushed him quietly, thrilled by the submission in his eyes, the surrender in his soft moan, his dick hard and erect in anticipation. Having control over a man like him felt so empowering. Though sexually submissive to him, Kat always enjoyed it when the roles were switched. It never lasted long though, so she planned to make the most of it.
Climbing back down his body, she rubbed her hands on the expanse of his thighs, his caramel skin warm beneath her fingers. She moved higher, coming dangerously close to the pleasure between his legs but avoiding it, for now. She wanted to touch it but the wait was more exciting. Her hands disappeared to squeeze his ass cheeks, and then reappeared over his hips, traveling along the sharpened ridges of his six-pack abs and up to his broad chest. Her body followed suit, sliding up until her thighs bracketed his sides. The little hiss that escaped him as she sat on his torso thrilled her; she knew right away that he could feel her warm moistness against his skin. Her fingers found his nipples next, toying with them before leaning in to lick them, and giggled with amusement when his dick sprang high enough to smack against her backside.
“Fuck, baby, feel what you do to me?” Joe hissed, his cock jumping again as her mouth warmed his neck, nibbling on the shell of his ear as she whispered to him in the softest, deadliest timbre:
"I’m just getting started, big guy."
Sitting upright on top of him, she reached for the ice bucket, scooping out an ice cube in the shape of an exquisite diamond. The ravenous look in Joe’s eyes matched hers as she sipped on the cube, letting the cold melt on her tongue and travel down her throat. Then, she bent down and kissed him, her cold tongue quickly warming up from the heat of his mouth. The wet muscles moved together in a sweet dance, delightedly intertwining, obsessed with the taste of each other. Kat pressed the ice cube to his chest, giggling when he jerked from the cold, and drew figure eights with it, watching rivulets of water trickle down the sides of his body. She put the ice cube on his right nipple and watched it harden. Then she replaced the ice with her warm mouth on his cold nipple.
“Shit, baby you killin’ me,” he moaned, looking on with hooded eyelids as she kissed down his body. She stopped between his legs, bowing her body in front of his erection, long and thick and hard, precum glistening on his slit. Her tongue darted out to taste it, licking her lips with pleasure. Giving him a sly wink, she took the tip of his dick in her mouth and sucked, winding her tongue around the head like a hungry snake. The moan that escaped his lips was needy and borderline painful, causing her eyes to light up in triumph.
“When I get my hands on you…” he growled, his expression almost pissed, but Kat knew better. His frustration mingled with his lack of control, control she’d taken from him all day by calling the shots from his travel to the food he ate. The sensual power play continued as she massaged his dick, the thick velvety flesh twitching in her hands as his hands twitched in his makeshift binds. Using the flat of her tongue, she licked up and down his shaft, making slurping sounds that were drowned out by his groans as she spread her saliva all over his dick. She was addicted. He tasted so good and she craved to have her fill.
Putting a smaller ice cube in her mouth, she chewed it, crushing the ice with her teeth. From there, she hugged his dick with her lips, dousing the heat of his flesh with the coldness of her throat. Tiny bits of ice melted against his shaft as she sucked and tongued every inch of him. She could feel his chest heaving and his abs crunching, could hear his strangled moans as he got warmer and got harder in her mouth. He was right where she wanted him. Resting her weight on his burly thighs, she moaned to him to let go, and smiled when seconds later a shout burst from him, his hips arching off the bed as he unloaded down her throat. She drank her fill of him, glancing up to watch the pleasure ravage his huge body, giving a little smile as he floated down back to earth.
“Oh my god…” he breathed, his body jerking when she pulled away, letting his dick, slick with her spit and his cum, plop down on his thigh. With one more long, soft kiss to his length, she slithered back up his body, pressing her lips to his for a sweet, delicate kiss which heavily contrasted with the heaviness of his dick brushing along her now-wet opening. Pleasing him turned her on in a way her notoriously composed self could never comprehend.
“You came so hard for me, baby. The look on your face was everything,” Kat gifted him a teasing lash of her tongue against his as she ran her hands up his arms to toy with the sheer material holding him hostage. Lifting her body up, she slowly sank down on his dick, a gasp slipping from her when the smooth tip pierced through her soft, slick folds, enabling her to wind her hips to take him all the way in. They both moaned as the thickness of him nudged her sweet spot, coaxing a whine out of her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting him close, making out with him while slowly rocking her body back and forth, grinding her clit on him. It stunned her to this day, how she was able to take him all, his length and girth filling her and hitting her most sensitive spot right away. The power that coursed through her at making him succumb to her will, no different from any pinning combination or submission move, was intoxicating. Her moans and his groans reverberated through the bedroom, the air thick with the scent of sex as she loved on him.
“Untie me. Now,” Joe commanded out of nowhere, the roughness of his tone surprising Kat. One look at the power and pleasure on his beautiful face told her he was not taking no for an answer. Obediently, she reached up and unraveled the underwear from around his wrists, and she had barely tossed it aside when his hands came around her, finding her backside and thrusting deeper into her. Finally, he could touch her the way he wanted. He loved her ass, enjoyed the feel of it gyrating against his palms. He landed a heavy-handed slap on it, making her burrow her face in his neck with a soft cry, the sound growing more desperate as his fingers caressed the supple flesh of her ass while grinding up into her, making her feel so good.
“Such a badass bitch, yet so weak for me. Weak for this dick,” he purred to her with a kiss to her shoulder. The wicked gleam in his eyes had Kat both frustrated and aroused, but the unmistakable glimpse of lust clouding those eyes showed he was just as weak for her. With every downward motion of her hips, she could see him become more mesmerized, his breaths huskier, his face contorting with unbridled bliss as her pussy squeezed his length in deep, throbbing pulls. Sensing him trying to regain control, she beat him to it, pushing up and steadying herself on top of him. With both hands planted on his strong chest, she adjusted her legs in a squat and began bouncing on his dick, up and down, fucking him, taking from him what she wanted, giving him what he needed.
“Fuck, that’s it, kitten, ride the shit outta my dick,” Joe groaned, his huge hands now clamped around her waist. “I’m here now, baby. I gotchu. Take it out on me, take all that stress out on me.” It was a wonder to watch her, her knees up and wide apart, treating him to the sight of her moist flesh gliding all the way down his turgid flesh and back up, leaving the base of his dick a wet, slippery mess. It looked incredible and felt even better. “You so wet for me, baby girl,” he rasped, reaching up to massage her bouncing breasts. “I love it when you use me. You love using Daddy’s big dick, huh?”
"Yes, Daddy I love it...Shiiit, oh my goddd!" Kat threw her head back, her moans shaky, her body trembling on top of him as waves of ecstasy washed over her thanks to the orgasm wracking her from head to toe.
“Unnhh yeah, come for Daddy, come on my dick,” he moaned back to her, his full lips parted and panting, his eyes boring into hers as he watched her come undone. Overcome with passion, he sat upright and tugged her flush against him, his breath hitching as the action sank him even deeper into her. He needed to hold her to him, needed to make her all his. “I ain’t pullin’ out,” he announced, moving her on him again, “I'ma come all up inside you, baby.”
His words sank in, but any coherent answer she had disappeared with another rake of his dick against her g-spot. Wordlessly, Kat snuggled into his warm embrace, locking her arms and legs around him as she continued to grind on him in a deliciously erotic rhythm. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Joe planted a big kiss upon her throat, her jaw, then her lips, enjoying the taste of her moans as his hips rolled along with hers like a choreographed dance. Emotions were high as they joined as one, surrounded by the sounds of the newfound love they were finally expressing to each other. The mattress bounced beneath them, the legless bed rocking in tune with their heated bodies rocking on top of it. Every worry they had was gone and replaced with a hunger and need for the other that they both knew they would never be able to satiate.
"I love you," Joe whispered, pushing her hair out of her eyes to gaze into them.
“I love you too, baby...oh fuck,” Kat panted, burying her face in his shoulder, her hands sliding down to grip his ass as she bucked her hips like a mad woman. Joe moved with her, not missing a single beat. His own release was building fast within him, too fast. The blood was pounding in his head and tightening his balls as her pussy squeezed his cock so tight he was having a hard time catching his breath. They soon realized they were climaxing together, both shaking from the intense, throbbing waves of pleasure. Kat’s toes curled into the sheets as she felt his warm fluid gushing into her pussy just like he wanted, felt his body pulse as hard as his dick pulsing deep inside of her. No piece of music, no music video she created could ever compare to the magic she made with this incredible man, ever be as beautiful as the sight of his face scrunching up helplessly as his orgasm consumed him. So she kept her eyes on him for as long as she could, watching all the emotions sweep his gorgeous visage like an unforgettable movie.
An eternity later, their movements slowed, their breathing calmed, their hearts racing as one as the world returned to normal. Joe felt light as air as he fell back onto the bed, Kat melting into him with her head on his chest, where his heart beat for her. He was still inside her and she kept him there, wanted to be filled with all his love in the very best way.
“Welcome home, my love,” she giggled, soothed by his own throaty chuckle vibrating against her skin. Her eyes fluttered shut as his lips pressed her forehead. She wished she could bottle the sound of his laugh, the feeling of his soft lips, bottle this very moment forever.
“Glad to be home, my love,” he answered, his fingers caressing her back as he kissed her mouth. “I can tell my time in L.A. is gonna be fun.”
"Mm-hmm. We got all week, Daddy," Kat eyed him with a sly smile, tracing her manicured index finger along his tattooed pectoral, "Like I said, we're just getting started."
THE END.
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A/N: This is the only story I've had the energy to complete. I'd love to know your thoughts!
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